Do you believe your dreams will come true and are going to happen?
Too many people want change but lack the mindset, confidence, and perseverance to see it through.
Discard any negative mindsets that may creep into your head.
Discard the “if”.
If you continually fill your mind with negative thoughts, are pessimistic, and engage in negative behaviors, you can be sure that they will turn into negative self fulfilling prophecies.
Today, believe that what you want will happen when the time is right and when you are ready. Be positive and believe in your dreams and your vision.
Believe that if you have a plan, work the plan, and are patient your best days will happen with a positive and persistent mindset.
Remove the word “if” from the conversation and look forward to the “WHEN”.
I enjoy walking early in the morning around sunrise. It is very peaceful, the highway traffic is very light, and I get to see quite a few sunrises.
I snapped this picture the other morning because it reminded me of something I always try to remind myself to do, and I probably want to tell more people than I do to do the same. I don’t though because I try to stay in my lane.
I have learned over the years that if I stay in my lane, and mind my own business my life seems to stay as smooth as it possibly can.
When I, or others, cross over that double yellow line it’s often like driving into oncoming traffic. Dangerous and nothing much good is going to happen.
In fact, if I saw a vehicle coming head on at me in my lane I would likely take a quick turn onto a side street and exit the situation.
When someone gets out of their lane, which is likely every day if you work around others, realize when you need to get yourself out of, or exit the situation.
It is always a good idea to check yourself too. Make sure you stay in your lane when you can and should. Keep your eyes on the road ahead of you because there is enough responsibility with doing that.
I remember having conversations with kids, mine and others, when they would say “nobody likes me, everyone hates me”. If we’re being honest we can feel that way at times as adults as well.
I always try to remind people that using the terms “nobody” and “everyone” is painting with a broad brush and not accurate.
Let’s cut right to it.
The whole world is not against you. Sometimes we give the loudest people too much of our attention and we translate that to an untrue opinion of ourself.
Do not let the loud ones steal your self worth and joy. Don’t give it away. They have no right to it because they are only concerned about their needs and what they want.
Let me repeat two things today: 1. The loudest one in the room is the weakest one in the room. Don’t listen to their noise. 2. Each day is filled with choices. You choose who, and what, you listen too. You choose what you fill your mind with.
One person, two people, even three people, do not make up, or reflect the opinion of the entire world.
Stay in touch with the people that support you, will encourage you, and will lift you up. I guarantee they will, and may be waiting to do so. You never have to go it alone.
Make the choice as to what, and who you let into your thoughts and mind today.
What are your goals that need to accomplish today? Do you have them written down where you can see them?
When I have a lot to accomplish I operate off of a checklist and cross items off when I complete them. It always helps me see and feel the progress.
Accomplishing things for your day to day job is important, but focusing on a few things beyond the day to day is impactful for you and those around you.
Add the following to your checklist for today, tomorrow, and every day.
Live with gratitude ✔️
Control what you can control ✔️
Strive to be better today than yesterday ✔️
Make the best of your life ✔️
Don’t lose faith in the future ✔️
Check these off your list. They are worth completing.
We are constantly in the process of becoming. Becoming more and becoming better.
Our greatest challenge is to not let ourselves believe that we have “arrived” after we win the big game or are at the top of the podium.
Yes, there is time to celebrate the victories and we may exhale a little bit, but our biggest challenge is setting our sites on another goal and then getting back to work to be better and become more.
Our greatest competitor is not standing beside us or across from us. Our greatest competitor is looking at us in the mirror every day when we get up.
We also answer to that same person in the mirror at the end of the day.
At the end of today what will your answer be to the question “are you better now than you were at the start of the day?”
“My life shall touch a dozen lives before this day is done, Leave countless marks for good or ill ere sets the evening sun, This is the wish I always wish, the prayer I always pray; Lord, may my life help other lives it touches by the way.” -Anonymous
You often recognize the influence and impact you can have on those close to you and those you work or interact with every day.
But what about those “one and done” interactions? The clerk at the convenience store? The waiter when you go out to eat? The person you pass coming out of the grocery store?
Every interaction that you have today matters. With every interaction you leave a little bit of yourself and you make a choice.
You make a choice to make experiences meaningless, and even miserable, or you can give them a smile and help to make their day.
Your life will touch dozens of lives today; may you help them in some way.
Remember the opening of ABC’s Wide World of Sports? Jim McKay’s iconic voice saying, “The thrill of victory, and the agony of defeat”. I can hear it now, and see the ski jumper crashing.
It’s an exciting time of year. Tournament time for high schools, colleges, including March Madness on the horizon.
Many will experience defeat at some point. Competitors don’t, and shouldn’t, like to lose but what it can reward us with in the long run sometimes comes because of the defeat.
Remember March 16, 2018?
A #16 seed had never beaten a #1 seed in the NCAA Basketball Tournament until that day. The University of Maryland, Baltimore County Retrievers not only beat the overall #1 seed Virginia Cavaliers but beat them by 20 points.
In his post game press conference Virginia Coach Tony Bennett said “If you learn to use it right, the adversity, it will buy you a ticket to a place you couldn’t have gone any other way.”
Fast forward 388 days to April 8, 2019. The Cavs had squandered a 10 point lead in the final minutes and trailed Texas Tech by three.
Virginia forced overtime with 12 seconds in regulation and went on to win the NCAA championship in overtime. They used the ticket bought with adversity a season earlier.
To become all that you can be you will have to go through the darkness of defeat at times to get to the joy of victory.
We enjoy the joys of victory but it is the tough times, the dark times, that make us stronger, better, who we really can be, and the opportunity to be better.
It’s a popular phrase, sometimes over used, and often times harder to follow through on.
You want instant. You want it now. You even want it yesterday sometimes. You just can’t wait, so you miss out on the growth that can happen in you by giving up too soon.
The process of becoming better requires you to trust that things, all things, are working to help you become better and become more.
When you don’t trust the process and let it play out you settle for better when best is still out there.
When the time is right for you to step into what is for the best you will be ready.
Don’t settle for better. Trust the process at work in your life and get ready for the best, and you being at your best.
At the start of the week I wrote about being like a caddy. Let’s end the week with a few thoughts from the other side of the bag. What can we learn from the golfer? (Yes, I was watching golf again yesterday.)
Here are a few observations:
1) Put the work in and trust the work you do. Make it focused and the right kind of work.
There are a lot of golfers out there. Most are recreational and very average. Those that play professionally, and at a high level, have put in countless hours of physical and mental training.
If you want to be good at anything you have to put the time in. You won’t get the results you want without the work that many others won’t do.
2) Be Confident
If you put in the work then have confidence in your talent and skills. Not arrogant, but confident.
You must believe in yourself to be at your best. Others can help by believing in you, but if you do #1 above there is no reason to not believe in yourself.
3) Collaborate and Listen.
To experience success the golfer will need to talk, listen, and work with their caddy. The best success that you can experience is when it is shared with others.
Trusted relationships are built through communication. Communication involves listening, which is maybe more important than talking. Winners, and leaders, listen.
4) You will have to grind at times, but that’s where you grow.
Some golf shots, some days, are better than others. There is a saying by those of us (me) who do not play professionally that says “if you hit that one good golf shot it will bring you back.”
Golf, like life, is sometimes more mental than physical. There are days, on and off the course, that you have to grind it out, be creative. Sometimes those days turn out to be better than you could even predict. That’s because you have kept your cool and have been able to adjust, adapt, and overcome.
Growth, and being better, happen during tough times and because you embrace the daily grind, on and off of the golf course.
Be like a golfer.
Put in the work. Be confident. Work well with others. Grind and grow.
Oh, and one last thing. I believe there are no bad days spent on the golf course. It’s always worth it, just like life. Keep your perspective and there is always something to be grateful for.
Change is hard. Some days it starts first thing in the morning as you try to get out of bed on a cold winter morning.
It is so comfortable under the warmth of the blankets. You know that the moment you get out from under them it is going to be a shock to the system and it is going to be uncomfortable for awhile.
But what eventually happens? You get used to being up, your body forgets about being tucked under the comfort of the blankets (hopefully), and you move on with your day.
The moment you accept the fact that change needs to happen, is going to happen, and that being uncomfortable for awhile is part of the process, the sooner you can move on with whatever changes may need to happen.
To grow, to be better today than you were yesterday, you need to accept the comfort in being uncomfortable. If you are uncomfortable you have an opportunity to be better.
Embrace being uncomfortable. It’s the only way to truly experience the changes that you need and desire.
I enjoy golf, and if I’m home I usually watch golf on Sunday afternoon. As I was watching this past weekend I started to really pay attention to the interactions between the golfer and their caddy.
I got to thinking, wouldn’t it be nice if we all had a caddy walking alongside of us during the day? Better yet, maybe we could help those around us by being like a caddy for them.
Here were just a few of the encouraging words spoken by a few caddies.
“Love it buddy” “Believe in it” “Great job” “You got this” “Perfect. Do it” “Go for it”
Words, simple words, spoken at the right moment instill confidence. They show that they believe in their golfer. At times one of the most important things that they do is getting them to slow down, and think before they act.
In addition to all of the encouragement given one of the most important things that the caddy does is carry the bag. They carry the load.
You may need a caddy, but today maybe one of the most important things you can do is be like a caddy for someone around you.
Encourage them Instill confidence Help them think Carry the load
Some days you may not feel like you make any significant progress, but if you can get up, get going, and move forward toward your dream, or even just one goal, you are closer than you were yesterday.
1% better. 1% more.
Multiply that 1% daily.
Day by Day.
Moment by Moment.
Tomorrow’s goals and dreams may not happen without what you do today. Get up and keep moving forward.
Do you know anyone who makes a big deal out of what really isn’t a big deal in your mind? I know… sometimes it is about perspective… maybe someone is having a bad day and the slightest thing wrong sets them off.
There are times though where we, all of us, need to examine if what is upsetting us is really worth being upset about.
Don’t let petty things like bad co-workers, bad bosses, bad moments control your day. At the end of the day much of what they do may be irritating (minor), but it is not always major (life altering).
There are situations that are, and there are situations that are not. Know the difference and treat them as such.
Don’t get caught up with those that major in the minors. Major, and focus, on the things that are truly important and need your full attention.
Alot of people say a lot, but don’t do much. They want you to think they do, but as you observe them you begin to ask yourself, what it is that they really do?
Don’t let that be you. Be about the work, and let that do the talking. When you do say something, make it doable, make it true, and then follow through.
Say what you will do, when you have to.
Do what you say, every time you must say.
Remember, you are what you do, not what you say you will do.
I was having a discussion with a couple of friends awhile ago. We were talking about frustration with getting people to participate in programs or initiatives that we work to provide for them to grow and be better, but they don’t seem to engage.
This answer and today’s thought comes from my wise friend Aaron Stecker from Cedar Rapids.
Aaron said, “It is hard. People are very quick to say they want things and expect opportunities.
When you work hard to provide them, they don’t engage…I feel it is because they see the real work and don’t really want that, they just wanted to complain or be in a position to point out fault.
Giving them a chance to engage and grow is work and involves accountability. People say want to be leaders, but don’t want to do the work, or are not ready for the work.
Talking about it and doing it are different things. We (AD’s/ Leaders) are doers…most are just talkers.”
As a leader continue to work to provide opportunities for people to grow and become better. Be a doer for others.
But the final question becomes one of self reflection for your own continued growth. Are YOU a Talker or a Doer?
I recently came across the 2 day rule, and it is something I am trying to be better at with my habits and routines. The days can look a little different, but don’t miss twice is the mantra.
Yesterday I spent the day on the road. I was going to get up early and get my workout in, but…I didn’t get that done. No worries. Adjust, adapt, overcome.
I had taken Sunday off, so I was determined to not miss for two days in a row due to a new commitment to the “two day rule”, so I got home after 241 miles and five visits with some fantastic athletic administrators and got the workout in.
The idea? If you are trying to do something, build or continue a habit, don’t miss more than one day in a row.
Be consistent. Consistency can look different as well, but consistency is a key to forming our routines and habits.
What is it you are trying to do? Don’t miss twice and be consistent. Adjust, adapt, and overcome as needed.
Who doesn’t want to experience the best part of life? It comes by what we give, not what we receive, and comes by what we give purposely.
We are kind and generous on purpose. Some days it is harder than others, but that’s where the on purpose comes into play.
Being kind may simply be not being mean to someone. Not gossipping or talking badly about them can be a way that you are kind, or stopping those who are.
Today, live life on purpose, and for the purpose of giving kindness and generosity to those that you come in contact with.
How was your week? Would today be a good day to try and be grateful?
Grateful is defined as appreciative of benefits received; affording pleasure or contentment. Couldn’t we stand to be reminded to be grateful from time to time? Some days being grateful is really hard to do.
When I feel like I am in a rut or my mood gets a bit down I like to remind myself to be grateful. To see the world through a different lens. A lens of gratitude.
How do I like to do that? My favorite thing to do is to go to the camera roll on my phone and scroll through my pictures and I am reminded of the moments, memories and good times.
I may even pair that with a gratitude walk to get a change of scenery and some fresh air. My mood changes and I am reminded that I have much to be grateful for.
I then mentally or physically write down at least three things I am grateful for as a reminder to live and lead with a thankful heart.
If you ever feel like you need to adjust your attitude or perspective I would encourage you take a gratitude break. It will help you live with appreciation, pleasure and contentment.
Words Matter! Your words matter. You have the incredible opportunity to build people up every day in every interaction you have.
You don’t have to have a title to speak respectfully to someone. You don’t have to take a three week course to learn how to do it.
I believe we all have it inside of us. The ability to make a positive impact on those around us.
It’s a matter of choice. Don’t let outside influences or a negative situation make you forget that words matter.
The most important decision you make today will be to speak positively and respectfully to those around you.
This is the first step in making a difference in the world around you. Everyone’s world could use someone to help make a difference with a kind word. Let that be you today.
It’s February 1st. How are you doing? I mean really. How are you doing working toward the goals you set for 2023?
Did you select your “One Word”? How is that going? A month ago I encouraged you to take charge of your 2023? Are you?
If you’re like me there has been progress, but it hasn’t always been perfect. That’s alright, it’s a journey. Remember, slow progress is better than no progress.
Today, maybe you need to reset your commitment to your goals, or your One Word. Do that. Continue to take charge.
Remember this quote from John Maxwell? “Most people simply accept their lives – they don’t lead them.”
If you didn’t like your progress in January you don’t have to accept it. You can make your February better. One day at a time. Get a little win every day.
Thomas Woodrow Wilson served as the 28th President of the United States from 1913-1921.
This quote, credited to him, is a reminder to everyone of the importance of not going through life, or your leadership journey, alone.
Asking for help is scary. It may make you feel vulnerable, but I would argue that it is a sign of strength. It makes you look authentic, honest, and confident.
Too many people practice the old adage, “fake it ’til you make it”. That is a bad practice. It may allow for a brief time of victory, but it will not be long term because it is fake, a masquerade, and a solo venture.
Leaders who try to do it on their own will eventually fail. Bring people alongside of you. Help them to be better, reach their potential and discover their own talents and gifts.
A big vision needs help, and since you are asking people to help you with the brainpower why not ask them for some help from their hands and their hearts as well.
“We stay in the moment, because our future is shaped by the present.”
Like him or dislike him, but Deion “Coach Prime” Sanders is engaging and has some wisdom. I was recently watching a documentary and he dropped this truth as if he was reading from my playbook.
Whether you are speaking as a coach, an athlete, a father, mother, or any line of work, the present moment is the most important one that you have.
Living in the past is dangerous, and looking too much into the future without a plan is not wise. One of the surest ways to make a foundation for your future is to take care of the here and now. The moment where your feet are.
It seems so simple, yet is one of the most difficult things to do. Don’t fall into the trap of wanting to get to your future without understanding that you need to put the daily work in.
Spend your days knowing that as you control and stack your present moments on top of each other you are actually creating your future, and done correctly and consistently it will be a bright future.
Tim Ferris is an American entrepreneur, investor, author, podcaster, and lifestyle guru. He is creative and busy. He coined the simple four word phrase, “make before you manage” to remind him to remain creative.
You’re busy too, but are you taking time to be creative. You don’t have to be as busy as Tim Ferris, but you were born to be creative. It is important that you take time to be creative and be balanced before you start managing your day to day tasks.
You are going to have bad days, bad weeks, and yes, even bad months. During those hectic times your routine can feel non existent. Find a way to stay in balance.
You may not have time to meditate for 20 minutes, exercise for 30, and journal for 20 minutes, and that’s alright.
This doesn’t mean you can’t take 2 minutes and do something creative to stimulate your mind and move your creativity forward by just a little bit.
Small and slow progress is better than no progress in every area of your life. Sometimes we neglect ourself when that is the most important person we need to take care of to effectively impact others.
The world, and the busy, can wait for a few minutes. Take a little time to set the right tone for the day so the day doesn’t immediately set the tone for you.
It would be nice to be on the receiving end of this, and chances are you will, but let’s start by giving it first. What goes around, comes around.
The most important part of this is the first line. Be Present.
To do any of the others, and make a difference doing what follows that first line, you have to make sure you are present first.
Being present means being fully present and engaged in the moment. Not just your physical body in the same place but fully present, intentional, and engaged, using all of your senses.
Being present and in the moment requires discipline. Discipline from being distracted by your phone, your surroundings, and what’s going on in your own life.
Once you can be fully present you are then ready to make a difference by being kind, complimenting people, and helping them to use their strengths.
Make a difference in your world today, and begin by being fully present.
The blue crab are a beautiful species of crabs found in the Atlantic Ocean. When people catch them for dinner they will routinely throw them in a bucket.
When the first one is caught a lid has to be put on the bucket because the crab will try and crawl out.
Once a second crab is caught and placed in the bucket the lid is not needed because the crabs will try and pull each other down and they can’t crawl out.
The same is true of some of the people around you. There are some who want to keep you in the bucket when you are down.
Unsuccessful people, people without vision, goals, and dreams will do all that they can to try and keep you down with them.
Believe – to accept (something) as true; to have faith.
Have you ever felt like you were the only one who believed in something that you wanted to accomplish personally or professionally?
Belief can be a very lonely place. There are times that you are the only one that can see the vision, but you must continue to see it and believe.
You must get up, continue to work toward, and believe not only in the vision, but that others will eventually begin to believe with you and come along side to help.
Until that time, your belief must continue to outweigh your doubt, and you must continue to find strength and take steps every day toward what you believe in.
You must believe, even when others do not. It can be lonely, but continue to believe, even if it seems like you are the only one.
Fight the urge to look back at the past. Looking back at the past, where you’ve been, whether good or bad, will cause you to miss the beauty of the opportunities ahead of you. It’s easy to look back. Too easy. Too many people do it.
No matter where you have been, or where you are at right now, you need to look forward. You can learn from the past, but you can’t stay there or keep looking back at it.
It takes courage to keep looking forward, but that is where the new opportunities are. Opportunities to be better personally and professionally. Opportunities to positively impact others and help them to be better.
Don’t look back. Keep looking forward so you can see where your journey will take you next.
There are people in your life that like, ok they may love, to be critical. They will let you know what’s wrong with a situation, a project, or even you.
It can get old real quick dealing with people like this, but let’s take a quick look at why they may be like that.
1. They are unhappy. 2. They see the glass as half empty. 3. They love to create conflict (drama). 4. They can’t think outside of their box. 5. They don’t want solutions.
Does the critic have the life that you wish you had? Are these the qualities you want to be known for? No, not at all.
Remember, that these people will always be around, but you don’t have to spend anymore time with them than you have to.
Your strength may eventually let them see the benefits of living a happy, glass half full, solution oriented life, but you don’t have to feel bad about living and leading the way that you do.
Keep your focus on living life the way that you want and know that you should. You don’t want to live life the way the critics do anyway.
Leadership is rewarding. Leadership is fascinating. Leadership is productive. Leadership is ambitious. Leadership is intentional. Leadership is…alot of things.
Leadership is also frustrating. Let’s be honest. Many days it is more frustrating than anything else. Why? Because of people.
Some people just seem to live to make the leadership difficult and the leader frustrated, and they are very good at it.
There are some workplaces where you can just get rid of them, but there are many places where it is just not that easy. So now what? Here are four ideas to consider.
1. Control what you can control. Control your attitude and your reaction to the different situations that arise from the antagonizers. At the end of the day that’s all you can really control.
2. Talk to a trusted friend or colleague. Don’t keep it in. It is good to talk about it. Chances are the person(s) you talk to have had similar experiences and may offer some valuable and helpful insights.
3. Be bigger than others small aspirations. You are where you are, doing what you do and because you have pursued being better. Those who are happy to just survive rather than thrive will not change, and you cannot change them.
4. Realize and remember that more people appreciate what you do than do not, and if you feel like that is not the case, keep showing up for the few that do appreciate you.
Leadership is what you have been called to do. It is not always easy or fun, but in the end it will always be rewarding, and much more. Always.
You don’t get the best of it without enduring the worst of it sometimes, but the best of it makes it worth enduring.
Does anyone remember the “old days” when you had to get up and physically change the channel on the TV that got three channels, plus public television?
The TV viewing experience has changed alot in the last 50-60 years, but changing the course of your life has not.
Don’t like where you’re at, what you’re doing, or how you’re doing it?
It’s really just like the old days. Get up and change it. Nothing will change unless you get up and do it.
Nobody said life would be easy. It’s not easy for anyone, but you have a choice. You make a choice to use the good and the bad that happens to you to be bitter or be better.
If you are reading this I believe you can learn how to use and navigate everything that life has to throw at you, because you are a learner and striving to be better every day.
You don’t always like what gets thrown at you. You may wonder what the point of some of it is, but you know things worthwhile don’t always come easy, or in the time frame that you may always want them to.
While you navigate the tough stuff you can be confident that you are getting stronger because of it, and as you go through it.
Every day is about being a little bit better and stronger than the day before, even if just a little. When life gets hard you still have an opportunity, and a choice to be better and be stronger.
Life is going to happen and will not always be easy, but you can navigate it because you will continue to get stronger with the right attitude and perspective.
“The chief task of life is simply this:. to identify and separate matters so that you can say clearly to yourself which are externals not under your control, and which have to do with the choices you actually control.”
Even the Greek Stoic philosopher believed that the most important thing you can do each day is to control what you can control. He just said it in a different way.
You can’t control what always happens to you, but you can control your effort, attitude, and your reaction to it all.
Focus on making clear what parts of your day are within your control and what parts are not.
The happiest people in life don’t necessarily have the best of everything, but they make the best of everything.
Made For This Moment 